In a small bowl, whisk together mayonnaise, red wine vinegar, minced garlic, and your choice of sweetener until smooth. Add Italian seasoning, red pepper chili flakes if desired, salt, and pepper to taste. Let the dressing sit for about 5 minutes.

Take iceberg lettuce and thinly shred it using a mandoline or food processor. Transfer the shredded lettuce to a large mixing bowl.

Cut ham and salami into ¼-inch slices, and slice pepperoni similarly. Cube provolone cheese.

In the bowl with the shredded lettuce, add the sliced meats and cubed provolone. Toss in halved grape tomatoes, sliced pepperoncini peppers, and diced red onion. Gently mix.

Drizzle the prepared dressing over the combined ingredients and toss gently until evenly coated.

Serve immediately or store in an airtight container, keeping the dressing separate until serving to maintain freshness.